Penguin (2006) by Phil

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Penguin (2006)
Synopsis:

Researching for my wildlife features
I've seen some unusual creatures,
But for sheer outrageousness
I'm yet to find a match for this:

In cold and uninviting lands '
About yea high & the penguin stands;
Hark why he's quite the most absurd
Of any semi pseudo-bird.

He does his best to imitate
The human with his upright gait,
But shunning the straightforward stride,
He opts to shuffle, side to side.

Though (second only to the seal)
The killer whale's most favoured meal,
Not having fully honed the knack
Of camouflage, he's mostly black.

His courting ritual (if it might
Be so described) although polite,
Is hardly nature's most impressive:
Thinking bright displays excessive,

And justly doubting that a ring
Would snugly fit around her wing,
He asks his love to be his own
By placing at her feet's a stone.

But the rummest thing about the chaps
Is what won't happen when he flaps
His little wings. Try as he might,
The sorry things weren't built for flight.

Call yourself a bird, young man?
You're not a bird. Birds fly, and can
You fly? No sir, fly you can not.
Are you a bird, sir? Tommyrot.

So all in all not quite the most
Inspiring of the avian host
But must be doing something right
Not to have shared the dodo's plight.

I shan't pretend I see the allure
But Mother Nature seems quite sure
The penguin she will smile upon,
So waddle on, penguin, waddle on.

(same poem on file)

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Researching for my wildlife features
I've seen some unusual creatures,
But for sheer outrageousness
I'm yet to find a match for this:

In cold and uninviting lands '
About yea high & the penguin stands;
Hark why he's quite the most absurd
Of any semi pseudo-bird.

He does his best to imitate
The human with his upright gait,
But shunning the straightforward stride,
He opts to shuffle, side to side.

Though (second only to the seal)
The killer whale's most favoured meal,
Not having fully honed the knack
Of camouflage, he's mostly black.

His courting ritual (if it might
Be so described) although polite,
Is hardly nature's most impressive:
Thinking bright displays excessive,

And justly doubting that a ring
Would snugly fit around her wing,
He asks his love to be his own
By placing at her feet's a stone.

But the rummest thing about the chaps
Is what won't happen when he flaps
His little wings. Try as he might,
The sorry things weren't built for flight.

Call yourself a bird, young man?
You're not a bird. Birds fly, and can
You fly? No sir, fly you can not.
Are you a bird, sir? Tommyrot.

So all in all not quite the most
Inspiring of the avian host
But must be doing something right
Not to have shared the dodo's plight.

I shan't pretend I see the allure
But Mother Nature seems quite sure
The penguin she will smile upon,
So waddle on, penguin, waddle on.

(same poem on file)

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Hilarious

ismail says on - 18 March 2009
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